2 Timothy 1:9 Who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.
My mom is an avid journal keeper. She illustrates them with beautiful watercolor paintings, and you can often find her crafting and binding her own books. Every liturgical season, she creates one of these journals. Today, she sent me a beautiful picture of her Lenten Journal. I hate to admit it, but my first thought was, “Oh crud, it’s that time again.”
Now, I’m the first to celebrate the liturgy. I love the ritual. I love the practice. I love the connection of all of us doing something together. So, why the reaction? Because sometimes, it feels like just one more thing. One more daily devotional, prayer, pious thought, or sacrifice when it feels like we have quite enough going on.
Beyond this, if I miss a day of whatever I’ve committed to do to practice Lent (note: rather than give something up during Lent, I typically try to commit to some new practice to draw closer to God), I begin feeling guilty and like I’ve failed God. Then, I double-down and recommit to catching up, working twice as hard, and end up all the more frustrated, exhausted, and riddled with guilt.
Could be wrong here, but I think I’m missing the purpose of Lent. I think my way is just going through the motions, completing tasks, and checking things off the list, rather than really growing closer to God. It’s not about committing to that Bible study that you’ll be able to squeeze in between the last work meeting and putting the baby to bed. It’s not about how many Bible verses you can memorize in 40 days. It’s not about how many journal pages you fill. It’s not about finally trying to make your way through all 40 of those daily Lenten devotionals you’ve been trying to complete for the past 10 years.
This year, I’m committing to doing Lent differently. This year, I’m going to open myself up to really experiencing the grace of God. Hearing loud and clear, that I am enough. Maybe I’ll write in a journal. Maybe I’ll read some more scripture. Maybe I’ll read a few of those Lenten devotionals. And maybe I won’t. Because this year, I think I’ve already practiced Lent more than any other year and it’s not even Ash Wednesday. Why? Because this year, I gave up my get gold stars for God mentality, and instead, I’m going to embrace his gift – grace.
Emalee Sugano
Lord, May all those that feel they’ve lost their connection to you, or feel like they need to earn their keep with just one more commitment, truly find you, find your grace, and celebrate your connection. Exactly as they are, and exactly as you are. Amen.